The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

In highschool and university I was a trekkie. Not a defcon-5 kinda trekkie who actually made it out to a convention, but I was a fan. One of the fictional races in the Star Trek universe was the Ferengi who were known as being mega-capitalists more than anything else – their government and religion was based around “profit”, and they all lived and died by “The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition”. I thought I would share some of the 285 rules with you. The ones here are pretty good and might be transferable to the real world:

#8. Small print leads to large risk.
#9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
#34. War is good for business.
#35. Peace is good for business.
#48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
#59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
#125. You can’t make a deal if you’re dead.
#141. Only fools pay retail.
#194. It’s always good business to know about your customers before they walk in your door.

And here are some of the more humorous ones:

#1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
#11. Even if it’s free, you can always buy it cheaper.
#23. Nothing is more important than your health. Except for your money.
#50. Never bluff a Klingon.
#77. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
#89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
#112. Never have sex with the boss’s sister.
#113. Never have sex with the boss’s daughter.
#114. Never have sex with the boss’s wife.
#115. Always have sex with the boss.
#189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
#255. A wife is a luxury… a smart accountant, a necessity.